Whispers in the wind
by Shadows Little Miss
Summary: Times have been hard for young Misaki as he deals with the loss of his lover, Usami Akihiko. When Misaki thinks everything is lost a vission appears to him. Is this the ghost of Akihiko, or just a figment of misaki's imagination.
1. Chapter 1

**Herp derp. Hello everyone! How are you all? This is my third fan fiction and I hope you all enjoy it! Just a WARNING for all of you (if you didn't read the description)…I killed Akihiko. ;u; I know. You can all hate me but I think this is going to turn out to be a wonderful story and I hope you stay around. Anyway, enjoy!**

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><p>Gentle sound of raindrops could be heard as they hit the mass of umbrella from below. Every once in a while, a stray raindrop would miss the umbrella and fall onto the person below. To someone, it might look like a tear, and maybe it was. Perhaps the rain fell on a person as if to say "Go on, cry! It's ok." Or maybe, just maybe, the heavens themselves were crying. Either way, Misaki didn't care. It was rain to him, nothing more.<p>

As Misaki stood under the umbrella his green, almost lifeless, eyes continued to stare at the polished tombstone that sat in front of him. Yes, Misaki was standing in a cemetery. Yes, this was a funeral. And the name on the stone? Usami Akihiko.

"-And he was too young to be taken from us," the priest said as he looked at the urn in front of him. After taking a pause, the man then started again. "Akihiko was a good man; blessed by family and friends…he will be greatly missed." Following those words Usami Fuyuhiko and Haruhiko stepped forward. Leaning down they both took ahold of the urn and gently placed it in the compartment directly below the headstone.

As this took place, tears began to build in the corner of Misaki's eyes and within seconds they were spilling over. So many memories were flooding into Misaki's mind of him and Usagi: The first time they met, the first time they made love (or molestation if you want to get technical). The time they went for a ride in the Ferris wheel or the time they spent an entire night together in the sleeping car of a train. All of these memories were coming back to Misaki, and all he could do was cry. The love of his life was gone.

Soon, though, Misaki felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. Turning his head he noticed that it was Takahiro. He had a sad look on his face, but he gave his younger brother a reassuring smile. It helped a little bit, but not that much.

"We should go Misaki," Takahiro said in a soothing voice. - There was no response – "Misaki, we need to leave, you're going to catch a cold. Besides everyone is leaving so come o-"

"Not yet," Misaki muttered in a feeble voice, his eyes still fixated on the tombstone about thirty feet away. Takahiro opened his mouth to object, and barely got out a sound before Misaki started again. "I said not yet!" This time Misaki's voice was harsher, and much louder. Turning to Takahiro, Misaki looked up at him with desperate eyes.

Takahiro didn't understand! He didn't know the type of relationship Misaki and Akihiko had been in. He couldn't possibly know that Misaki couldn't just leave. If he did, his heart might burst. Misaki had to say goodbye, even if it took all night. To be truthful, no one knew the pain Misaki was going through. No one knew that Akihiko was Misaki's love, except for the Usami family and Aikawa. Everyone else thought Misaki was just another friend or fan, come to mourn the loss with everyone else.

"Alright," Takahiro relied as he put his hand back on Misaki's shoulder. "I'll wait for you in the car," the older brother said as he turned to walk away, leaving Misaki alone while others gathered around him in various spots.

A heavy sigh escaped Misaki's lips as he stared at the top of the urn. This was the last time Misaki would be this close to Usagi, it saddened him. The grip that Misaki had on his umbrella soon loosened as the tears continued to stream down his cheeks. All of Misaki's cloths were getting soaked, but he didn't care. The rain soon stopped hitting Misaki and when he looked up he saw a girl around his age. She was holding a large umbrella and was dressed in a beautiful black Kimono. Kaoruko Usami.

"Hey Misaki," Kaoruko said softly as she looked at Misaki with sympathetic eyes. "What are you doing back here? The family said you could come to the front with the rest of us," the girl said.

"Oh, sorry." Misaki muttered as he wiped away the tears from his eyes. "I didn't want to intrude on your family. I really don't belong up there anyway."

"Yes you do!" Kaoruko said, her voice laced with hurt and disappointment. It was quiet as Misaki drooped his head, his eyes now fixated on his feet. "You know," Kaoruko said softly, breaking the silence. "I'm surprised you're here. When you didn't show up at the cremating ceremony I was worried, we all were. I went to the apartment that night to see you but Akihiko's editor was there. She said you were sleeping so I just left."

"Sorry," Misaki muttered. "It's been hard."

"I know it has," the girl said as she grabbed the soaked Misaki, bringing him in for a hug. "Is it ok if I stop buy tomorrow morning before I leave to go back school?"

"That would be nice." Misaki said, forcing a fake smile.

"Alright, see you soon." Kaoruko said as she released Misaki from her grasp. Leaning down she then took hold of Misaki's fallen umbrella and handed it back to the boy. "Take care," she called as she turned around and walked away.

"Take….care…"Misaki muttered as he watched the girl leave. Now Misaki was alone again. When he had someone to talk to, the pain was not nearly as bad, it distracted him. Now, though, oh now the pain was great. All Misaki wanted to do was cry, that was it. Building up enough courage, Misaki finally began to move. It was time to say his final goodbye.

After the agenizing steps it took to get to the tombstone, Misaki stopped. There, in front of him was Akihiko's father and brother. They both had solemn looks on their faces, but they seemed to be pre-occupied at the moment, for they were talking to some of the guests. Misaki decided to wait his turn.

"Oh, Misaki," Fuyuhiko called out after the last guest left. This broke the silence, bringing Misaki back to earth. Bringing his gaze upward, Misaki saw Akihiko's father. When the two made eye contact a small smile spread across the man's face. "Misaki," he said again. "It's good to see you! I'm so glad you came."  
>"Yeah," Misaki said nervously. From the previous times Misaki and Fuyuhiko had spoken, Misaki had gotten the feeling that the man did not like him, so this conversation was fairly awkward. How did Father Usami view him now? "I'm sorry for not making it to the cremation," Misaki then spoke. "I w-was really busy with school and work," Misaki stated, his voice shaking. This boy told such terrible lies.<p>

"That's fine, I understand," the old man said with a soft smile. He could see through Misaki's statement with ease, but he wasn't going to push anything. Misaki had his reasons, he understood. "I'm just glad you could come. It's good to see your face." Fuyuhiko then paused for a moment as he studied the young boy's face. "Oh," he then muttered. "I did want to talk to you about Akihiko's home."

"Oh!" Misaki muttered his voice cracking as he spoke. "I will get out of his house soon. I'm still looking for an apartment that I can afford." Misaki spoke. He tried to keep a calm composure as he talked to the older man, but he couldn't. Misaki was breaking apart at the seams. Soon the tears began to flood out of Misaki's green eyes. His sobs were hushed as he bent his head downward. There was no way he could look at Akihiko's father like this, it was humiliating.

As Misaki wept, he felt a long arm wrap around half of his body and soon he found himself being pushed into the chest of Fuyuhiko. "Misaki," the elder man cooed, "It's okay. You can stay in that apartment for as long as you want." – It was silent for a moment.

"I-I miss him so much," Misaki cried out. He had to tell someone, no one else knew about him and Akihiko. Since his father did, he figured that it was safe. "I miss him so much," Misaki said again. "It's so hard. I keep waking up, thinking it's a dream, but…it's not."

"I know Misaki," the man said. "We all miss him."

"I know," Misaki said as he finally pulled his face away from Fuyuhiko's chest. Wiping away the tears, Misaki half smiled. "I know you miss him to. Sorry for not considering you," he then muttered, gripping the handle of his umbrella a little tighter. How could he be so insensitive?

"It's alright," Fuyuhiko said calmly. It was quiet for a moment as the two looked at each other. Was all of Fuyuhiko's anger towards Misaki gone? "Well, you better get going," the old man then said. "You don't want to catch a cold."

"You're right," Misaki said, forcing a smile. "Thanks." He then muttered as he turned from Lord Usami and walked to wards Takahiro's car.

"See you later," the old man called after.

As Misaki trudged along the small pathway towards the car, he head his name called out rather loudly. Looking up he saw a red-haired woman bounding toward him. Aikawa.

"Misaki!" The woman said again when she got closer. "Oh, sorry!" the woman said as both of their umbrella's collided.

"It's fine." Misaki mumbled.

"That's good!" She said looking down at the small male. "I just wanted to know if I should come over tonight. Since your brother is here I figured I shouldn't, but I just wanted to know."

"You don't have to, everything will be fine." Misaki said, putting on the fake smile.

"Are you sure?" Aikawa asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Yea," Misaki said, nodding in response.

"Alright then, see you later!" Aikawa said as she turned, waving at Misaki as she left.

The rest of the walk back to the car seemed very long for Misaki pondered on the service that had just taken place. It was nice, a bit flamboyant, and maybe not the way Akihiko would have liked it, but it was still…nice. Looking up, Misaki opened the car door, folded his umbrella, and stepped in the car. The cold air conditioning stung Misaki's skin as he pulled on his seatbelt. Soon his wet close began to get cold, Misaki was shivering fiercely.

"Do you want me to turn it off?" Takahiro asked as he continued to drive.

"No, it's fine." Misaki muttered, hugging his body with his cold arms.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Misaki muttered again. It was quite for a moment before Takahiro reached out a hand and turned off the air.

"I SAID I'M FINE!" Misaki growled as he quickly leaned forward and flipped the AC on high. "Brother never listens," Misaki thought as he closed his leaned back and looked out of the window. Everything they passed was a blur to Misaki as he looked out the window with an empty stare. Soon enough the car stopped and when he looked up he saw that the car had stopped at the apartment entrance.

"Thanks," Misaki grumbled as he leaned down to take off his seatbelt.

"Yeah, no problem," Takahiro said softly. As Misaki was about to close the door, Takahiro spoke up again. "Hey Misaki. Do you want me to stay with you tonight? I'll just have to call my wi-"

"No, it's fine." Misaki answered. "I'll be ok."

"Are you sure?" Takahiro asked, trying to be nice.

"Yes! I'm fine!" Misaki hissed as he slammed the door of the car, making his short trek in the rain till he reached the inside of the building.

On the ride up to the apartment, thought the elevator, Misaki held his arms and rocked back and forth. Hiccup noises could be heard from Misaki, but they weren't hiccups, but sobs. Misaki had cried too much. He could no longer produce tears. Once the doors opened, Misaki walked forward, and punched in the code to the apartment.

As the door swung open, Misaki sucked in a deep breath. It was dark in there, it felt cold, and it looked…lonely. Making his way into the apartment, Misaki dropped his umbrella on the floor, took off his suit coat and pants and made his way up the stairs. He needed to sleep. He felt like shit.

On his way to his bedroom, Misaki stopped for a moment. To his right was the door to Usagi's room. Misaki hadn't been in there since the incident. Biting his lip, Misaki extended an arm and slowly opened the door.

Everything was as Akihiko had left it. The smell of him still hung in the air and it tickled Misaki's nose. Moving one foot after another Misaki slowly make his way to the bed. With one swift (or rather sluggish) movement, Misaki fell on the bed. Pressing his face into the pillow Misaki took in a deep, inhaling the heavenly smell.

"I miss you," Misaki muttered as he took in another deep breath, savoring the aroma that was entering his nose. "I miss you," Misaki muttered again as he lay still in his cold, wet shirt and damp boxers. He didn't feel a need to change, it was too much work. Misaki thought he could just warm up with the blanket that was on the bed.

"Usagi…" Misaki cried as he closed his eyes, holding the pillow tightly to his body.

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><p><strong>End of chapter one. Hope you enjoyed it. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I believe it sets the stage! I should be updating soon. With that said, have a nice week! ;u;<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter number two! Hope you guys have been having a good week (or so). I really hope you all enjoy this chapter. I tried to make it not too depressing. :'D**

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><p>The sound of boiling water filled the quiet room as Misaki dropped two eggs into the pot that sat on the stove. It was midmorning and since Misaki had slept in, he decided to make a snack instead of breakfast. One egg was for Misaki and the other one was for Usagi. The young male knew the writer had stayed up all night trying to make a deadline so he would probably need some energy to finish up the project. (Or at least enough to make it to a bed)<p>

As the eggs continued to boil, Misaki heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Figuring Akihiko had decided to take a break from writing, Misaki walked to the edge of the kitchenette to where he saw the large man.

"Good morning Usag-" Misaki began but stopped when he noticed that Akihiko was on his cellphone. The silver-haired man's face was tired and his skin was a pale color. Dark circles lined his purple eyes and it was very clear that Usagi had pulled an all-nighter. "Sorry" Misaki mouthed as he saw the writer put a finger to his lips. Going back to the kitchen to check on the eggs, Misaki heard Akihiko's voice. He mentioned something about pain, and then a certain time.

"He must be calling the doctor," Misaki muttered to himself as he prodded the eggs out of boredom. "Finally," he sighed, for you see Akihiko has been complaining about some pain. At first Usagi and Misaki thought the headaches and dizziness might be from lack of sleep, but after the writer vomited a couple nights ago, they thought differently.

While Akihiko thought that this might have been caused by his immune system being lowered, Misaki thought differently. After some talking, and mostly fighting, Misaki had finally convinced Akihiko to see the doctor.

"Looks good…" Usagi said from behind Misaki. Hearing the writers voice, Misaki jumped, he had not noticed that Akihiko had moved, or that he had finished his conversation. He was too focused on his thoughts.

"Oh," Misaki said as he looked up at the man. "I-It's not much. Just a snack really." Misaki responded.

"Well, it's made by you, so it will always look good!" Usagi said as he leaned down, wrapping his arms around Misaki and pulling him into his body. "Now, stay still…I need to fill up on my Misaki," Akihiko said. Misaki growled, he could only imagine the smug look that was spread across the writers face.

While the writer stood with his "Misaki" the phone that was in his pocket began to buzz.

"Let go!" Misaki protested, but the writer didn't listen. "Hey!" Misaki yelled "Your phone is ringing! Answer it!"

"No, it can wait," Akihiko said with a sigh.

"For heaven sakes, just answer the phone!" Misaki said again. Akihiko could be so complicated.

With a sight Akihiko let of go of Misaki and reached for his phone. Once Misaki was free he moved to the other corner of the stove to check on the eggs. Misaki was curious though, who could be calling? Was it Aikawa?

"What do you want?" Akihiko growled after a few seconds on the phone. That tone of voice, it could only mean one thing…he was on the phone with his father.

"Oh boy," Misaki muttered under his breath as he turned the stove off. The food was ready. As Misaki carefully removed the eggs he couldn't' help but listen in on the conversation. Every once in a while Misaki's name came up. Great. That couldn't be good!

Soon Akihiko started to shout into the phone. If the writer didn't calm down in a moment Misaki would have to interfere.

As Akihiko sucked in another breath to yell Misaki turned around to confront the writer. "Usagi!" Misaki said trying to get his attention. Akihiko didn't hear.

"AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN FU-" the writer began, but suddenly stopped. Knees buckling from under him, Usagi fell to the floor, the cellphone flying from out of his hand.

As Usagi fell Misaki's face turned to horror. The face Usagi made…it was terrible. What was happening?

"Usagi!" Misaki called as he quickly rushed to Akihiko's side. The writer looked like a fish out of water as he lay on the ground. His eyes were wide and his mouth made funny gestures. "USAGI!" Misaki screamed as tears came to his eyes and began to spill over rapidly. "USAGI!" Misaki screamed again as he took Akihiko's cold hand into his own and pressed it to his cheek.

"Misaki," Akihiko whispered as he feebly tried to wipe away the tears from Misaki's face.

"Usagi," Misaki whispered as he watched Akihiko's eyes roll back as far as gthey could god. With one final breath Akihiko closed his eyes.

"U-USAGI!" Misaki screamed repeatedly as he took hold of the larger man's shoulders and began to shake him.

~On the other side of the phone Akihiko's father could only listen as Misaki screamed his son's nickname over and over.

"Misaki, what's going on? What's wrong?" The old man called. Unfortunately there was no answer. ~

"Usagi!" Misaki cried again as he leaned down on the writes chest, his hands clenching tightly to the man's clothing. "Usagi," Misaki cried as the darkness consumed him.

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><p>Misaki awoke with a start as he bolted forward from his slumber. His heart beat wildly as he slowly wiped away the tears. "A dream…" Misaki whispered as he laid back down on the pillow. This really wasn't a dream though, but rather the painful memory that haunted Misaki every night.<p>

Rolling over on his side Misaki stared at the clock. It was only 11:51pm, still the same day as the funeral. Great. Misaki had only slept for five hours when he honestly wanted to sleep for an eternity. Well, there was no point in sleeping now; Misaki knew it would never come.

Pulling himself out of the bed, Misaki made his way down to the living room. It was dark, but the youth saw no need in turning on the lights. His eyes were adjusted enough.

After a moment of trying to find the controller to the TV Misaki found it. As the young male turned on the TV the bright light blinded him. Sitting down on the couch Misaki let his eyes adjust. Pulling his knees to his chest, Misaki shivered slightly. His cloths were still damp, though not as bad as when he fell asleep.

The task of trying to find a good show to watch actually kept Misaki occupied. After a long process of going thought all 500 channels five times, Misaki had decided to watch a sitcom. It really wasn't as great as he thought it was and to be honest he had no clue why people liked it so much. It was simply a bunch of people running around and acting like elementary children.

As the night grew old Misaki began to fade in and out of sleep. He might close his eyes for a minute only to have vivid images shot into his head. Misaki would then suddenly wake up, only to watch TV and start the process over again. By six o'clock in the morning, Misaki had no clue what he was watching. His eyes were glazed over as he looked at the box in front of him, he was motionless.

"Usami Akihiko…" a voice from the TV said. These two words seemed to bring Misaki out of his own little world. Misaki was curious to what the voice had to say. The voice belonged to a woman that was a part of the news station and she was saying something about Usagi.

"Usami Akihiko tragically died last week in his home. His memorial service was held yesterday afternoon. Thousands turned out to mourn the beloved author. He is survived by his Father – Usami Fuyuhiko – and his Brother Usami Haruhiko."

Misaki watched intently and soon a clip was brought up on the screen. It was Usagi's brother. An interview perhaps?

"It's been really hard," Haruhiko said to the reporter. From the surroundings, Misaki could safely say that it was at the funeral the previous day. "Hard for all of us actually. But, it's been especially hard for my father. I think he's taken it the hardest."

"What?" Misaki growled as he glared at the TV screen. What did Haruhiko just say? Misaki felt like he was burning up inside. "WHAT!" Misaki screamed as he clenched the TV remote and chucked it forwards, towards the TV.

A loud sound sounded as the remote made contact with the TV screen. Misaki just sat dumbfounded as he started at the remote that sat halfway out of the hole it had made in the screen.

"What about me?" Misaki cried as he buried his face into to one of the pillows. "What about me? I was there when it happened? I saw Usagi's face! What about me? Don't they know that I feel bad?" Misaki cried into the pillow. For the next hour or so, Misaki lay motionless on the sofa.

"_Ring!" _

Misaki sat up slowly as he heard the sound go throughout the apartment. Looking at the door Misaki sighed. Getting up Misaki slowly made his way to the door. When he opened it a smiling face was there to greet him.

"Good morning Misaki," Kaoruko sang as she saw the door open.

"Oh, hi!" Misaki responded, putting on the fake smile.

"Misaki!" Kaoruko suddenly gasped. "You look terrible! Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Misaki said. "I'm just tired."

"Oh," the girl muttered as she pushed her way past Misaki and into the apartment. Leaning forward she then turned on the lights. It was very dim in the room. "Well, I brought you some breakfast…and I also made you a cake!"

"Thanks." With that Misaki took what Kaoruko had in her hands and carried it to the kitchen where he set it down on the counter.

"Misaki?" Kaoruko asked. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Uh…" Misaki muttered, truly trying to remember the last time he had food. "Oh I had some a little bit ago!"

"Misaki!" Kaoruko pressed.

"I don't know…a couple of days?"

"Well, we'll fix that!" the girl said as she took Misaki's hand and set him down in the chair that faced the table. After that Kaoruko made her way to the kitchen to prepare some food. Misaki waited paitently as the girl finished making the food. She then brought it to Misaki. It had been forever since Misaki had eaten, he kinda' forgot how. "Eat," the girl demanded.

Misaki wasn't expecting the girl to have such a harsh tone, it made him jump. Looking down at his food Misaki then took one chopstick and stabbed the egg. Bringing it to his mouth, Misaki took a small bite. The food tasted bitter, Misaki didn't want any more punishment.

"Eat!" Kaoruko demanded again. Misaki was mad now. He had tried to eat and it didn't work out. Why was she forcing him? He was simply not hungry. Misaki glared down at the eggs that were in front of him. He knew that Kaoruko had worked hard to make them, but he didn't want to eat.

"Misaki," Kaoruko muttered. "Not eating isn't going to bring Akihiko back."

It was quiet.

"I know," Misaki muttered, not looking at the girl at all. "I'm just not hungry."

"Do you want to talk about him?" the girl asked. It was quiet again.

"They said it was a brain aneurism." Misaki whispered softly. "It- It happened right in front of me! I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help Usagi at all! He looked terrible and all I could do was watch. I couldn't help."

"How did he get the aneurism?" Kaoruko asked softly.

"The doctors said that he must have been hit on the head by something. He also smoked and they said that smoking was another part of getting an aneurism. When Usagi started to yell…he….his….the aneurism broke and he bled to death from bleeding in the brain." Misaki muttered.

"I'm so sorry Misaki," Kaoruko said as she got up and wrapped her arms around the boy. "It's not your fault."

"I know." With that Misaki pushed the eggs far away from his seat and then stood up, Kaoruko still clinging to him. "Thanks for stopping by." Misaki then said as he pried the girl's fingers from him.

"No problem!" Kaoruko said with a smile. "Now, don't forget about the cake! You better eat it!"

"I will." Misaki said, forcing his smile.

As Kaoruko made her way to the front door, something caught her eye. The TV that was in the living room had something wrong with it. Was that a…remote sticking out of it? What had Misaki done? The girl was going to ask about it but then figured she better not. Turning back to Misaki she smiled, responding to his statement.

"Good! And next time I come by we'll bake a cake together!" With that Kaoruko made her way to the door.

"Take care!" Kaoruko said as she flashed a smile at Misaki. With that, she was gone, leaving Misaki alone again.

Next time? Misaki thought. Was there really going to be a next time? Now that Usagi was dead, he really didn't have a connection to the Usami family. Well, except for the apartment that he was still staying in. After sitting around for a while Misaki then decided that he should go do something. He didn't want to stay in this house anymore. It was starting to scare him.

Going into his room Misaki found a sweater and some clean pants. As he was getting ready he realized that he had been in his boxers and dress shirt when Kaoruko had been by. As the blood rushed to his face he could only imagine what had been going through her mind at the time. He was then grateful that she didn't say anything. Once his cloths were on and his hair was brushed, Misaki pulled on his messenger bag and made his way out of the apartment.

The walk to the publishing company wasn't as bad as Misaki thought it would be. The rain from the previous day left a good aroma in the air and the temperature was fairly nice. Misaki deemed that it was a good choice to walk today instead of taking the train- it was too congested in there anyways.

Once Misaki walked into the publishing company though, his entire good mood began to collapse. The feeling that the people in the building gave off were making Misaki uncomfortable. He didn't like it one bit. That, and the place was starting to remind Misaki of Akihiko.

As Misaki waited for the elevator doors to open, he stared at the ugly flowers that were on the front of the reception desk. Why would anyone what flowers like that? They were so distasteful.

"Misaki?" a male voice said from behind the boy. Turning around Misaki noticed that the elevator doors had opened and Isaka was standing in the doorway. He had some sort of surprised look on his face.

"Oh. Hello." Misaki said, trying to be polite.

"What are you doing here?" the larger male said as he stepped out of the elevator, the doors closing behind him.

"Oh," Misaki said his eyes wide. "Was I not supposed to come in?"

"Well…" Isaka said as he looked away from Misaki. "I just figured you wouldn't be in for a while." As soon as the man said this Misaki lowered his gaze.

"I…" Misaki struggled. "I just wanted to get out of the house."

"Well, that's good." Isaka said with a nervous laugh. "I think Aikawa need some help! Just go up to her office." Isaka said with a smile as he patted the 'kid' on the shoulder. As Isaka began to walk off though, he stopped. "If you need to go home though, don't feel bad – we all understand."

"Thanks…." Misaki muttered as he looked down at the floor. As the boy continued to look at the ground he pressed the elevator button and when the doors opened he walked in. The ride up to the correct floor seemed like an eternity and the ridiculous music that was playing made it even worse.

Misaki let out a sigh of relief as the doors finally opened. It felt good to get out of that little space. As Misaki rounded the corner to go to Aikawa's office, he heard a familiar voice, followed by another one. Within a couple seconds Misaki could see Aikawa followed by Ijuuin.

"Misaki!" Ijuuin suddenly said in the middle of his conversation with Aikawa. When the woman heard the name she turned her head slightly and saw the boy standing there.

"Misaki! What are you doing here?" She asked. At this Misaki's face began to "crack". His sense of being calm was now gone. With his face turned in an interesting way Misaki let out a hiccup sound.

"Why is everyone saying that? Am I not supposed to be here!" Misaki cried as he pushed his face into his hands.

"No, no it's not that!" Aikawa said as she rushed to Misaki's side. "We just didn't think you would want to get out yet."

"Well geez!" Misaki suddenly shot back. "Did you ever think that I didn't want to be in the HOUSE!" Misaki growled.

"Misaki!" Ijuuin interrupted.

"I'm sorry." Aikawa whispered as she reached out to Misaki, trying to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder.

"No, you're not!" Misaki growled as he pushed Aikawa's hand way. "I just want things to go back to normal! I can't stand being alone!" Misaki cried as he collapsed to the floor.

"Misaki!" both Ijuuin and Aikawa called out as Misaki went down on them. With concern plastered all over his face Ijuuin set a hand on Misaki's back and began to rub. While he did this he looked up at Aikawa who seemed to have a hurt look on her face.

"Just-just… take him home," Aikawa mouthed as she turned around and walked away from the scene. She honestly felt bad for Misaki, but couldn't he have said that in another way? Didn't Misaki understand that she was hurt from the loss as well? Everyone was. – Misaki was just not himself lately.

"Hey Misaki…" the manga artist said after a moment. When there was no response the man let out a heavy sigh. "Misaki, let's go, ok?"

"Alright," Misaki muttered as he whipped away the tears from his face and stood up, Ijuuin following suit.

"How about I give you a ride home," the older male said as the two began to travel down the elevator.

"No. It's too stuffy for a car…I think I'll just walk home."

"Well then at least let me walk you home." Ijuuin said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Ok," that was all Misaki said. As the two got out of the elevator they slowly made their way to the exit of the company. Once they were out of the building, the tension began to fade away from Misaki, though he still seemed upset.

"I'm sorry," Misaki muttered as he looked down at the sidewalk. What he had just displayed back in the hallway was terrible. He had been heartless to Aikawa.

"Don't worry about it," the manga artist said with a smile. "We all understand."

"Thank you," Misaki said quietly after a moment. Misaki still could not look up at the author though, he felt too ashamed. Misaki soon began to think about how terrible he had been acting to everyone, it made him sick. But who could blame him? He was entitled to being as upset as he had been, right?  
>Misaki honesty had no idea what to make of all his actions the last couple of days. He just knew they were bad.<p>

"-aki."

What was that noise?- Bells of some kind?

"-saki!"

What?

"MISAKI!" Ijuuin yelled as he took hold of Misaki's messenger bag that was wrapped around the boy, flinging him to the ground a couple feet away from the writer. Misaki could only stare in shock as a large train whizzed past the two. Misaki had not seen that! He was too focused on other matters that he didn't bother to look where he was going. Or to see the fact that he was walking around a train track barrier and almost into the path of the train.

Misaki didn't say a word as he watched the train go by. Soon the train was gone and the barrier was up, allowing pedestrians to pass.

"I'm sorry," Misaki whispered, his voice shaking. "I wasn't paying attention."

"It-it's ok…" Ijuuin said, almost out of breath. "I'm just glad you are ok."

"Yeah…" Misaki muttered, not really for sure what to say to the manga artist. – They were both still fairly shaken up.

Standing up the two made their way back to the apartment. Within a couple minutes the they were directly in front of Misaki's door to his apartment. Misaki, of course, didn't realize this until they were standing at the door.

"Thanks," Misaki said again as he turned to look at the older man.

"No problem!" Ijuuin said as he turned to leave. "Oh," he then added. "If you want something to keep your mind off of things, I could have you sort some of my fan-mail through the e-mail."

"That would be great," Misaki quietly spoke as he opened the door to the apartment as walked inside, he didn't want to see Ijuuin anymore.

Once in the house Misaki made his way to the bathroom. He was still pretty shaken by the train incident and he figure a good splash of cold water would help.

The cold water of Misaki's warm skin felt amazing, and for a split second Misaki felt good. As Misaki finished up, he looked up in the mirror. Misaki was shocked to see how rundown he looked. In the corner of the mirror though, a little bottle caught his attention.

Turning around, Misaki reached for the little bottle. As Misaki carefully looked over the bottle he noticed that it was sleeping pills. Oh, sleep! That might be a good idea.

With bottle in hand Misaki then made his way to the sofa and plopped down, letting out a sigh. The train still flashed through his mind and after a while Misaki began to think how easy it would be to kill himself. If he took an overdose of pills, maybe it would be less painful. Also, if he were to do that, then he could go and see Akihiko. So then it was settled. Misaki would kill himself, it was that easy.

Opening the pill bottle up Misaki dumped out the entire bottle into his hand. Looking down at the pile he then sighed. This was it. As Misaki began to lift the mound to his mouth though, he felt something funny touching his right shoulder. Curious to what it was, Misaki turned around. Within seconds the youth's jaw was on the floor.

There, in front of his eyes , was a rather large man who had a pained expression all over his face. His purple eyes looked hurt and his silver hair seemed to cover his face slightly. – Usami Akihiko.

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><p><strong>YAY! Hope you all enjoyed my second chapter! (also, sorry it took longer than a week to update.) I would have added more to this chapter but right now I am so tired I could cry- but im forcing myself to stay awake so I can post this. :'D (So sorry if the last half doesn't make sense, I'm falling asleep. X_X )<strong>

**Again, hope you all enjoyed, I should be updating soon! Have a great week!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hellllooo my good people! It is I, Olivia….err…Shadows little miss. I hope you like this chapter! (we finally get a chapter where Akihiko is in the full thing! :'D) It may be short, but I believe it is good. Well, enjoy!~ (Important note at the bottom of this chapter)**

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><p>Those violet eyes looked like mysterious orbs as they looked back into Misaki's green eyes. They looked hurt and Misaki believed that the owner of them was about to break in half. Soon Misaki's hands began to shake violently and the sleeping pills began to fall one by one to the ground until there were no more left in his hand. On top of that Misaki had forgotten how to breathe – he was turning an alarming shade of purple.<p>

"Misaki" Usagi finally spoke. As he did this Misaki took a sharp breath, making a gasping sound. Misaki's hair stood on end. Akihiko's voice was very faint, almost like a whisper in the wind. "Misaki please don't do this!" This time the writer's voice was filled with pain.

"I'm sorry," Misaki muttered, his voice shaking furiously. "I'm sorry I took the pills…"

"No you didn't" Akihiko breathed, "but please…don't."

"What….do you mean?" Misaki asked as he moved his eyes down to his hands. There were no pills there! Misaki figured that he had taken them and he was dead. That was the only reason he could see Akihiko, right? Moving his eyes to the floor, Misaki noticed all the pills were down there. That meant he had not taken them, that meant he wasn't dead and that meant…

With wide eyes Misaki slowly lifted his head. Now Misaki noticed that Usagi was not full solid, but rather transparent.

"You mean I'm not… Misaki whispered, and then it clicked. Bolting up from out of his seat Misaki began to run to the stares. He didn't know where he was running to but he needed to get away from the vision he was seeing.

As Misaki began to climb up the strairs his foot caught the bottom of one of the steps and Misaki fell flat on his face. Tears began to fall from Misaki's eyes as he picked himself up, only to sit down in the middle of the staircase. Covering his face with his hands Misaki began to sob.

After a brief moment Misaki could feel someone's eyes looking at him. Misaki then jumped when he felt a strange sensation on his knee. Something was touching him.

"Misaki," Usagi said. "Misaki please, look at me."

"NO!" the youth suddenly screamed. "Y-You're not real! You're dead!" More and more tears soon began to cascade down Misaki's cheeks.

"Misaki, just look at me!"

"Why! Why do I have to! You're not real, just a figment of my imagination."

"No Misaki…" the writer cooed. He understood that Misaki was scared and confused. "Misaki, I'm real. Just…look at me" Usagi then said after a moment of silence.

It was hard for the young boy, but bit by bit Misaki began to move his hands away from his face. Misaki's green, blood shot, eyes were now looking back at the large purple ones in front of him. They were just the way Misaki had remembered them: Large, passionate, and kind.

"U-Usagi," Misaki sniffed as he reached out towards the man's face. As Misaki's hand made contact with the writer Misaki let out a gasp. He didn't feel solid but rather that he was a piece of saran wrap. Misaki believed that he could easily push through his lover. It was a long moment before Misaki then spoke. "You mean…you're a ghost?"

"Yes," Akihiko spoke as he looked Misaki dead in the eyes.

"But…how did you get here?"

"I'm not for sure about that," Usagi muttered as he looked away. "I just all of a sudden found myself here. But I just knew that I had to see you again." Usagi explained.

"Well, you should go back…" Misaki said, his voice still shaking.

"To where?"

"I don't know! Heaven…or Hell."

Hearing this statement Akihiko let out a loud laugh. "Oh Misaki," he sighed.

"Wh-what's so funny!" Misaki stammered, pulling away from the larger man, his blood rushing to his face.

"Nothing," the man chuckled. "You're still funny as ever…"

"I'm serious!" Misaki muttered.

"I know." The writer spoke. "I wish I could go back, but I have no clue how."

"Then stay here with me!" Misaki shouted as he reached out for Akihiko. This time though Misaki's hand went through the saran wrap wall.

The writer let out a small chuckle as he leaned forward and brushed his lips up against Misaki's. "I'll do whatever you desire," Usagi stated. "But…I would suggest that you get some sleep first."

"That's a good Idea…" Misaki muttered as he stood up, his legs shaking beneath him. Making his way up the rest of the stares Misaki then opened the door to Usagi's bedroom. Letting out a yelp Misaki fell backwards. Akihiko was already in the room when Misaki had opened the door, and it had startled him.

"Misaki!" Akihiko said in alarm as Misaki fell. But, thankfully, Misaki stood back up. Not saying a word the boy the crawled into the bed and closed his eyes. He figured that this was a dream. Surly Akihiko was not back from the grave. Misaki thought he would simply go to sleep, and when he woke up, things would be normal again.

As Misaki lay in the bed, he felt something wrap itself around his body. Misaki's body went stiff for a moment as his eyes popped open. "_It's only a dream,"_ Misaki thought as he looked back at his lover who had him in his arms. Closing his eyes Misaki then began to try and sleep.

"Usagi…" Misaki muttered after about ten minutes of just lying there. "You feel good…kind of like a blanket."

A small chuckle came from Akihiko's mouth and his lips formed a smile. "I'm glad you like it." Usagi said in Misaki's ear. – It was silent again. –

"Usagi…" Misaki said again. "I'm sorry about the pills….I just miss yu' so-much." Misaki said, his words slurring together from the sleepiness that was overcoming Misaki.

"I know," Akihiko breathed. "I never should have left you…I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Misaki sighed. He was clearly losing the battle to stay awake.

"Misaki I-" Usagi began but was suddenly cut off by the loud sound of Misaki's snore. "Misaki, I love you." Akihiko muttered as he looked down at his sleeping lover. Misaki looked so fragile, and hit hurt Akihiko deeply. Shifting his hand slightly Akihiko tried to brush Misaki's hair from his face,…but it was no use. Misaki's hair only seemed to flutter in a soft breeze. Letting out a sigh, Akihiko laid his head next to Misaki's and slowly began to fade away.

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><p><strong>~Le end of chapter three! Again, I know this is a short chapter but I have not been feeling well so I haven't had much time to write. I swear, the next chapter will be amazing! :) Anyways, It's time for my special note! I have answered all of your reviews that have been posted so far. (Yes...ALL of them. :'D ) I really do wish that you check them out! I think they are cute and hopefully you will like them. You can find them here: <strong>

**http:/ shadows-little-miss. tumblr. com (- Take out the spaces) or if you want the direct link without taking out the spaces you can find it on my profile. **

**Again, I hope you all have enjoyed this rather short chapter! I'll update as soon as I can! **

**Have a good week!~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Good day everyone! Hope you are all doing well. ~ I must say, I'm very sorry for not posting within my week promise. I was at a convention (Naka Kon) three weekends ago and two weeks ago I was at a horse show, and now, this last weekend, I was at a Music convention, preforming. Not to mention all my other activities. Oh well~! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! :3**

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><p>"Nuh," Misaki grumbled as he opened his eyes to the dimly lit room. Rubbing his eyes, Misaki sat up. The little eye crustys had formed and they were poking Misaki in the eyes; he had to get them out. Clearing his throat Misaki then pulled his legs over the bed and then just sat there, his elbows resting on his legs.<p>

Misaki's head was foggy from the night before. He wasn't quite sure what had gone on, but he searched through his brain.

Usagi!

Misaki quickly sucked in a breath as he looked around him. There wasn't anything in the room, just Misaki and the millions of Suzuki's that stared the youth down in the dark.

"Must have been just a dream..." Misaki muttered to himself as he rubbed his face. As Misaki stood up he let out a sigh. The poor boy was so happy to see Usagi, and now he was gone! "Well, it was nice while it lasted," Misaki muttered as he walked out of the room.

The sun shone through the window, casting the brilliant reds and oranges across the floor. The entire apartment seemed to have a warm feeling to it. "Huh…" Misaki grumbled as he descended the stairs. Once he was down the stairs Misaki walked into the rays of the sun that shone through the window.

It was very warm. Misaki closed his eyes, trying to soak up all the rays. He was attempting to put his best attitude forward. He tried to pretend everything was fine. He wanted to ignore the pain. He wanted to forget the dream he had had about Akihiko. It was nice for the moment, but now it was bringing up emotions Misaki didn't want.

Small droplets of liquid hit the floor as Misaki lifted is hand to wipe away the tears. They weren't as furious as the last times. They just slowly flowed from Misaki's eyes. "I have to get my mind off of this," Misaki muttered under his breath as he made his way to the kitchen.

He would eat something! He had to. For one, it would get Misaki's mind off of the dream, and secondly, he was starving! Misaki had not gotten a proper meal in a couple of days. Digging into the fridge Misaki pulled out an orange and a jar of peanut butter. Next the youth got out a piece of bread and began to spread the peanut butter all over it.

Lifting the piece of bread to his mouth, he took a bite. It was a rather large bite, and now Misaki was regretting it. The peanut butter was thick and mixed with Misaki's saliva. It made a rather gooey substance in Misaki's mouth as it mixed with the bread. It took a moment before Misaki could swallow, but he did. Misaki took another bite, and then another. It was getting harder and harder to take a bite, but they youth pressed on. He was forcing the bread down his throat.

It was finally gone! Misaki stood in the kitchen looking at the jar of peanut butter that was still out. He didn't really want to move; he wasn't feeling well. As Misaki moved to put the peanut butter away something struck him. His stomach was protesting! It screamed, telling Misaki that it did not want the food inside of it. Dropping the jar Misaki rushed up the stairs, one hand clamped over his mouth. Bursting through the door Misaki fell to his knees in front of the toilet. The contents of Misaki's stomach spewed out as Misaki made rather loud gagging noises.

After he had finished Misaki continued to sit on the floor, his face hovering over the toilet. It made the youth sad that he couldn't eat anything. His body would just reject it. Picking himself off of the floor Misaki slumped over to the sink where he turned the water on to wash his face. Misaki leaned down and let the water rush into his hands. Splashing it up in his face Misaki let out a sigh. It felt so good up against the boy's hot face; he never wanted it to end. After the youth had splashed a couple more handfuls of water on his face, he stood up.

There, directly in front of him was there mirror. And what did it show? Well, a very shocked Misaki, and a large silver haired man that stood behind him.

"AH!" Misaki screamed as he flailed his arms backwards, falling to the ground. Looking up with wide eyes Misaki looked at the large man that towered above him. Misaki's voice stuck in his throat and for a moment he couldn't speak.

"Misaki!" The man said in alarm as he watched the boy fall. Usagi reached out of his love but Misaki's body went directly though Usagi's hand.

"eh!" Misaki squeaked as Misaki watched Usagi try and touch him. As his hand went thought a very strange sensation covered Misaki's arm where Usagi was touching. It tingled, kind of like when your hand falls asleep. It was strange and for a moment that's all Misaki was thinking about.

"Misaki," Akihiko said in his faint voice. At the sound of this Misaki lifted his gaze from his arm and looked up at the phantom.

"I guess it wasn't a dream…" Misaki thought aloud.

Letting out a chuckle Akihiko moved slightly back from Misaki to get a better look at him. "How did you sleep?" the writer asked.

"I slept fine," Misaki answered as he reflected back on his sleep a little bit ago. After a moment of thought Misaki realized something. Last night's sleep was probably the best sleep he had had since Akihiko's death! There were no bad dreams, no waking up in cold sweats, no crying…just a nice, deep, sleep. _Wow_. Misaki thought. Was Misaki able to sleep soundly just because Usagi was near him? Well, apparently so.

Looking at Akihiko Misaki pressed his lips together. He studied the man in front of him while the apparition did the same. It was a long moment of silence before Akihiko spoke.

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly. Misaki was looking at him in such a way that he couldn't help but ask. He wanted to know what was on his lover's mind.

"I," Misaki began. "I just can't believe this is happening," Misaki reported. "You died and…now you're here. It just doesn't seem real. Shouldn't you be in the afterlife or something?"

Letting out a sigh, Usagi smiled. "Like I told you last night, I can't go back. I don't know how." With that the writer reached out his hand again and set it lightly on top of Misaki's head, ruffling his hair softly. Misaki's hair barely moved but the boy could sure feel the tingling sensation.

"Oh, right. I forgot," Misaki muttered as he looked up at his lover, studying him again. "You look really faint today…" The boy commented.

" Well," Usagi muttered. "I _feel_ faint today. Or, well, weak."

Hearing this Misaki got to his knees from his sitting position and reached out for Usagi. Akihiko leaned forward encouraging Misaki to do so. – He didn't want Misaki to be afraid of him. When Misaki got closer he held his breath. As the youth's hand went through Akihiko's shoulder he let exhaled, the tingling sensation taking over his hand and then flowing over Misaki's body.

"You feel warm," Misaki commented. "I don't like it."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Usagi chuckled, looking at Misaki who still hand his hand in his shoulder.

Silence.

"I miss you Usagi," Misaki suddenly said as he pulled away from the specter, dropping his head to look at the floor. "I miss you so much! You don't know how hard it is!"

"I know," Akihiko cooed as he leaned closer to Misaki, speaking in his ear. "I'm sorry for leaving you…but just sulking around in this house is not good for your health. You should get out and do something."

"Hey," Misaki said as he looked up at Usaig, wiping away the tears. "Isn't that _my_ line?"

"I guess you have told me that before," Akihiko laughed, thinking back the many times where he was up in his study, staying there for days to finish his work. "But," he then added. "It's the truth. I don't want you to be all worked up over me."

"But!" Misaki interrupted.

"No," Akihiko shot back softly. "You need to get out! At least go to class."

Misaki bit his lip, thinking if getting out of the house was even a good idea! What would class be like? Misaki knew he wouldn't pay attention anyways, but if Usagi wanted him to go…maybe he would. As Misaki thought through this his thoughts were interrupted by the writer. "I'll go with you," he offered.

"Fine!" Misaki finally stated as he got to his feet, the vision doing the same. "I'll go!" With that Misaki stalked out of the bathroom. He really didn't want to go, but Akihiko could be just so damn persuasive.

"Aren't you going to change?" The specter asked as Misaki reached the bottom of the stairs. Looking down at his clothing Misaki noticed that he was still wearing the same cloths from the previous day. Oh well, he wasn't out that long yesterday, and people in school didn't see him so Misaki figured he was fine.

"No," the boy sighed. "It'll be ok." Lifting an eyebrow Usagi looked Misaki over. His normal Misaki would have made sure he was showered and in fresh new cloths. He just hoped Misaki would go back to his normal self over time.

Grabbing his messenger bag with his books in it Misaki slung it over his shoulder and walked out of the apartment, the entire time he kept an eye on Akihiko.

"I would offer to drive you," the writer said. "But…" he said in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Misaki commented as the two got into the elevator, riding it down. Once the elevator came to a stop Misaki stepped out and was soon walking towards M University.

As Misaki walked he couldn't help but notice that no one else saw Usagi who was standing right next to him. At one point someone even walked though him. Misaki only watched in shock as the apparition faded almost to nothingness before quickly turning back to his faint transparent self. Akihiko didn't seem very fazed by it though, he just continued to walk.

"Wow," Akihiko commented. "I've never been this way before. I guess it's different when you walk."

"Well yeah! Maybe you should get out more and do some exercise instead of driving your car everywhere! It's not good for you," Misaki shot out, rolling his eyes. As he did this a couple people turned their heads to look at Misaki. This lone boy had just randomly grumbled something rather loudly. Where had that come from?

Seeing this Misaki's face turned bright red. Hearing a chuckle Misaki turned his head to see Usagi with a smile all over his face.

"What?" Misaki whispered under his breath. He hoped no one heard him. He didn't want people to think he was a weirdo.

"Nothing," Usagi said as he continued to stroll with the boy.

Coming to a street Misaki noticed that the walk sign was still on, but only for a couple more seconds. Deciding to make a dash for it Misaki ran across the street to the other side, just as the light turned green for the cars to go. Looking back across the street Misaki noticed that Akihiko was still on the other side.

Not bothering to look Akihiko stepped out in front of the traffic. The cars whizzed by and halfway through his walk one even hit him.

"Usa-!" Misaki called in shock, but nothing happened. Doing his little fade maneuver the writer continued to walk. Letting out a sigh of relief Misaki smiled. _Well, I guess he doesn't have to watch out for traffic anymore._ Misaki thought to himself, remembering that this man had a terrible time remembering how to correctly cross the street. As Akihiko neared Misaki, a smile spread across his face. This smile suddenly collapsed, though, as a large bus came across his lover, making him suddenly disappear.

Misaki stood at the corner. He waited, and waited. Misaki's lively eyes frantically scanned the land in front of him as he searched for his friend. Where had he gone? "Usagi?" Misaki called softly, trying not to draw attention to himself from everyone else surrounding him.

There was no response. There was no vision in front of him. Misaki suddenly felt completely alone once again as he green eyes seemed to lose the life in them. Usagi was gone, he has left Misaki again. Turning around Misaki walked in a zombie like state towards the apartment again. He didn't want to go back to class…he didn't even want human interaction. _No._ Misaki then thought as he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He would go to class…that is what Akihiko wanted.

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><p>"It's nice for you to join us Mr. Takahashi," a strict voice called as the young man opened the door to the large lecture hall. Normally when Misaki heard this voice, his hair would stand on his neck and he would get shivers all down his spine. He might even wonder what this person was doing in this class. This time, though, Misaki could care less. Tilting his head to the side Misaki looked up from his depressed gaze.<p>

"Oh, sorry Kamijou Sensei," Misaki muttered under his breath before lowering his gaze and walking up the steps to his seat. Once there, Misaki plopped down and looked at the table, not even wanting to pay attention.

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><p>Kamijou Sensei watched carefully as the youth entered the room, spoke to him, and then took his seat. Hiroki hated latecomers. If this was the class he actually taught, he would have disciplined the youth, but it was not his place. Miyagi had called in earlier that day. For some strange reason he was going to be out of the country (a spur of the moment fling perhaps) and since Hiroki was free during Miyagi's hour, he was forced to take on the job.<p>

The rest of the class Hiroki continued to teach and every once in a while he would glance up at the boy who had his head on the table. He looked like he might be sleeping, but every once in a while Misaki would look towards the front.

_I wonder what's wrong with him?_ Hiroki thought to himself as he thought back on Misaki. The youth was a previous student of his a couple years ago and from what he could remember; Misaki was usually a lively kid. What had him down? As he thought of this a flash of memory hit him.

Two days ago…. He remembered seeing Misaki. It was briefly, but he had seen him at Akihiko's funeral. Was that why he was so depressed? No…he was a college student. Maybe he was just tired. And anyway…what was Misaki's connection to Akihiko? He briefly remembered running into both of them one day, but Misaki rushed away before he could see what they were doing. Anyway, it wasn't Hiroki's business….so he just pushed it aside.

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><p>The sun was now hid behind the clouds. The warm of the rays were hidden and a soft, cool, breeze had rolled in. At this point Misaki was regretting the decision not to wear a jacket. After Misaki began to walk though, he seemed to get use to the cool weather. By the time he was halfway home, he was gloomy again. The cold had only distracted him for a brief moment.<p>

Stopping in the middle of his walk home, tears began to fall from Misaki's eyes. Why did Akihiko have to leave him so suddenly? When he died and when he was a ghost. He always had to leave, without a goodbye. Misaki hated it. Wiping the tears away from his face Misaki looked up. He was at the entrance to a rather large park.

Looking at it a while, Misaki decided he would go in for a little bit. It would get his mind off of Usagi and he could enjoy the surroundings….or try to.

As Misaki walked around the park he seemed to have a hard time breathing. The air felt think and all the trees that surrounded him made him feel claustrophobic. After a while of walking, Misaki picked up the pace. He had to get out of here. Soon Misaki was running. He didn't know where he was going and the tears that collected in Misaki's eyes wasn't helping his vision. Turning a corner Misaki saw a break from the trees. He could see outside! He could see the bridge! He just needed to get out of this wooded area.

The youth held his breath as the opening got closer and closer but suddenly the opening strayed from the youth's vision. "ah!" Misaki quietly yelped as he fell to the ground. His foot had caught the edge of a children's sandbox and now Misaki was laying in the sand.

Picking himself up, Misaki sat on his legs and lifted a sandy hand and whipped away his tears. The sand caught hold of the wet substance and stuck to Misaki's cheeks. Though at this point, he really didn't care. Looking around him the boy suddenly noticed where he was. Of course he was in the park…but he was sitting in a very familiar sandbox. This was the same sandbox him and Usagi had built a sandcastle in. He was sure of it!

Suddenly Misaki's hands began to move frantically. He wasn't sure what he was doing….but he just felt like he had to move his hands. In a matter of moments Misaki had built a large mound of sand. He knew now what he was doing. He had made a "sand castle" just like he had done with Usagi. Moving his hands again Misaki began to claw at the side of the mound.

Sitting with his hands stuck in the mound, Misaki began to sob. Akihiko was not here this time to dig a hole on the other side. He couldn't feel Akihiko's cold hand…and this time Akihiko wasn't here to kiss him.

Misaki was alone.

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><p><strong>Sorry for the crummy chapter. :T I wrote most of this in the hospital while I wait for my dad to get out of surgery so I'm not in the best mind to write…but yet again I'm bored…so here you go! :) Again, sorry about the long wait for the update. I SHOULD have the next one up in a week or so, I'm really trying my best to update ASAP.<br>If you have any comments or questions, or requests….let me know! ^^; Don't forget to check out my Tumblr while you are at it to see my reply to your review! (Shadows-little-miss) You can find the link on my profile.**

**Have a nice week!~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok. So I would first like to say something to you…**

**I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! Urg. Being a senior in High school, it's fairly hard to find time to write this chapter (and finish it) So here we are! I wrote this chapter to the best of my ability. And forgive me for the crappieness. My brain has been recently fried from all the college papers I've had to write and a meteorology project that is now becoming my life. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!**

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><p>It had been several weeks since Akihiko had appeared to Misaki. At first he would come almost every day, but little by little Akihiko became fainter—He was becoming weaker. Of course this frightened Misaki and even though it hurt him every time Usagi left, he requested that Akihiko would take a little time to regain his strength. Even if that meant not seeing his lover.<p>

Chucking softly under his breath Akihiko wrapped his long arms around Misaki and that blanket feeling came over the boy. "I'll have to decline" he said with a whisper of a voice. He would stay with Misaki until he became nothing but air.

Akihiko showed himself to Misaki for another week and then suddenly, he was gone. For the first few days Misaki seemed to be in a fairly good mood. "He's just resting." Misaki would mutter to himself. "He'll be back."

Days and days passed and soon Misaki's happy demeanor began to crumble. The protective blanket Akihiko had left with him and fallen away and Misaki soon became depressed. A heavy pressure began to build on top of his chest, over his heart. His head hurt a lot and he found himself sleeping most of the day instead of going to class, or work for that matter. In fact, Misaki was at severe risk of being kicked out of his class. His grades were down and he never showed up.

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><p>"-ki. –aki! MISAKI!" a harsh voiced called, dragging Misaki out of his daze. – Misaki was in the middle of his literature class when he had begun to drift off into his own little world. Shifting his lifeless eyes over to his teacher Misaki pressed his pale lips together.<p>

"huh?" Misaki muttered as he looked at the devil-like teacher that was in front of the class. It was Kamijou Sensei again, come to wreak havoc on the class. Misaki hated that his original professor (Miyagi) was still out of the country. Kamijou was so harsh! Misaki thought he had gotten rid of him when he moved on to a harder class.

"I asked you a question." Kamijou said with an irritated tone lacing his voice.

"Sorry, I wasn't listening," Misaki said in a nonchalant voice as he rested his head on top of his desk. (**Or table…I really don't know what to call it ;u;**)

Pressing his lips together, the professor rolled his eye, slightly irritated at his student's apathy. Turning slightly to his right Kamijou asked another student. As he did this, though, his brown eyes slowly shifted back up to Misaki. He was pale in the face and his eyes looked dull. About a week earlier he looked perfectly fine, so what was bothering him. Was it Akihiko? This was really bugging Hiroki and he decided that he would find out what was wrong after class.

"That's all I have for today," Kamijou said as he closed the book he was holding. It was silent for a moment and soon the students were packing up their things and leaving. Misaki, of course, was one of the last ones to make his way out of the room. "Takahashi?" Hiroki asked as he watched Misaki walk out of the room.

"Huh?" Misaki asked as he popped his head back inside of the room.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Hiroki asked as he walked over to Miyagi's table, setting down his held book and organizing the lesson plan that was scattered all over the place. He had told himself earlier that he wasn't going to get involved with the boy, that it was none of his business, but he couldn't help it anymore.

"Oh, sure!" Misaki said as his eyes began to liven up. He was slightly worried that his devil was going to yell at him or something. "What's up?"

It was silent for a moment as Hiroki looked at the youth. He was impressed at how he could change from being depressed to pretty lively in a matter of seconds.

"Is there something bothering you?" the teacher asked as he let out a sigh, leaning against the table. Crossing his arms across his chest, the professor hardened his gaze. He knew that the boy would lie.

"I-I'm fine," Misaki said with large green eyes. He was taken off guard. He didn't think that a teacher would ask him such a question. Looking the professor over, though, he knew that there was no fooling him.

"You were at Akihiko's funeral, right?" Hiroki said, pressing Misaki.

Eyes growing even wider Misaki sucked in a deep breath. How did he know? Rushing back through the pile of memories Misaki had with Usagi, the youth did find an instance where he had meet Kamijou while he was meeting up with Akihiko. It had been a surprise back then. Try to compose himself, Misaki bit his lip.

"Yeah, I was." Misaki said. As soon as he spoke his expression fell. Just thinking about Akihiko brought him back to his depressive state. If his professor wasn't there, he would cry.

"Were you close?" Hiroki asked as he studied Misaki's face. It was a long, silent, moment as Hiroki watched Misaki cringe at the thought.

"Yes," Misaki whispered under his breath. He wanted to say more about his relationship with the writer but he was still frozen with fear at the thought of someone finding out about them. Even if Akihiko was gone…

"Well," Hiroki sighed as he fully stood up, looking the boy square in the eye. "I don't know the extent of your relationship with Usami Akihiko, but whatever level it was, I do know one thing. Akihiko would not want you sulking around like this. You have to move on." Misaki's face began to show a state of confusion and Kamijou jumped quickly to answer it. "I was a childhood friend of Akihiko," the professor explained. "We are all hurting from losing Akihiko, not only you. Please keep that in mind." He added

"Ah," Misaki muttered quickly, nodding his head. "Th-thank you very much," Misaki said as he quickly rushed out the door before the man could say anymore.

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><p>The fog on the glass was slowly wiped away and soon a "fuzzy" figure appeared in the refection. The most clear image, though, was the bright green orbs that stared into the looking glass. They seemed to be tired, but they weren't lifeless. They seemed to be disappointed, but hope was not gone. The steam soon filtered through the vent that Misaki had turned on and in a matter of minutes Misaki's upper body showed up, clearly, in the mirror. Letting out a sigh Misaki continued to look into the mirror.<p>

Would this be the day Akihiko would show up? He hadn't yesterday.

Would he appear out of the blue, cheering the youth up in an instant? Or would this be another day where Misaki would be left alone, a hole of loneliness ripped into this chest.

Picking up a towel that sat next to him on the rack, Misaki began to dry his wet hair and the rest of his body. Once that was taken care of Misaki made his way out of the bathroom and into his own room located down the hall, the red towel wrapped around his waist.

Tossing it to the floor Misaki pulled on his boxers and then his pants. His shirt he was going to wear had been left outside to dry and he forgot to retrieve it the previous night. Oh well. At least it hadn't rained. – Once Misaki's shoes were pulled on he made his way to the steps. Halfway down the steps, though, Misaki about fell over. – There was someone sitting on the sofa…and they were reading a paper?

"U-Usagi?" Misaki breathed, his voice stuck in his throat. Nevertheless the figure seemed to hear him for he looked up and set the paper down.

Those violet eyes made contact with Misaki's eyes and for a moment Misaki was frozen in his place. "Usagi!" Misaki said again as he broke from his trance and bounded down the rest of the stares.

Akihiko was already standing by the time Misaki made it to the writer. Opening his arms Misaki gave the not so solid mass a hug.

"Looks like someone's happy to see me," the phantom said with a chuckle, hugging Misaki back. "You know," he then added. "You're going to catch a cold if you run around half naked all the time. But I don't mind! Maybe you can put on a show for me!" At the sound of this Miskai's eyes grew wide and he pulled away from the writer in a whirlwind, his mouth open wide.

"S-Stupid rabbit!" Misaki growled, blushing at the same time. Usagi may be dead, but his personality was still the same

"I'm only speaking the truth," the writer spoke as he leaned down, kissing Misaki lightly on the lips. Of course it wasn't a real kiss, but when Akihiko pulled away it left the tingling sensation to play on the youth's lips. Turning bright red, Misaki snapped his eyes closed and batted at the ghost, though it did no good.

"Just wait! I'll go get a shirt!" Misaki grumbled as he walked towards the door to the balcony where hi cloths were hanging. Sliding open the door Misaki left the cool autumn air hit him. Now he was debating whether or not to go outside. He might freeze to death! Moving quickly Misaki ran outside, grabbed his shirt, and dashed back indoors before the cool air could take his life.

Pulling the long sleeved shirt over his head, Misaki then made his way back to the living room.

"Do you like your new TV?" Usagi asked with a small smile, he was sitting on the sofa again.

Turning right red…again, Misaki plopped down next to Usagi. "Uh yeah. Thanks." Misaki muttered as his green eyes trailed over to the new big screen TV that sat in front of him. Akihiko had obviously seen what Misaki had done and felt like he had to take it upon himself to make things right. Though he was a phantom, he could still use the phone lines, so he made arrangements to get Misaki a new TV. In a couple of days it was replaced.

"You're welcome," Akihiko chuckled as he looked Misaki over. It was silent for a moment as Misaki did the same for Akihiko, but then he spoke.

"Hey, Usagi?" Misaki asked in a distant tone.

"Hum?" Akihiko asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Can you come to school with me?" Misaki asked as he looked up at Akihiko with a broad smile. "Please!"

"I would love to," Akihiko replied, chuckling softly.

"Yay!" Misaki rejoiced as he stood up. "Oh, and you can't disappear on me this time!"

"I swear, I won't" Akihiko cooed as he stood up, resting his large hand on top of Misaki's brown hair.

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><p>Class had not started as Misaki walked into his literature class, good! Misaki couldn't remember the last time he had came to class on time. Walking to his normal seat in the lecture hall, Misaki waited for the class to begin. As he did so he couldn't help but look to his left, watching the phantom like figures sit next to him, staring back in return. He was glad Akihiko was with him today. Yeah, it was kind of awkward, but it gave Misaki the strength he needed to finish the day. And besides, he needed to spend as much time with the phantom as he could. Misaki was abruptly interrupted as the Kamijou walked in and began to teach. He didn't even give as much as a "Hello" or "good morning."<p>

"I didn't know Hiroki was your teacher," Akihiko commented as he looked down at his friend from his seat.

"He's not our actual teacher for this class, he's just been filling in the last month or so," Misaki whispered back to his lover, not really bothering to see the people around him staring at him. Didn't Misaki know it was odd to talk to himself?

In the middle of saying something to the entire class Kamijou looked up at the class, specifically in Misaki's direction, and froze for a split second. Were his eyes deceiving him? Or was that actually Usami Akihiko that was sitting next to Misaki? Hiroki didn't know but he tried to keep a collected look as he finished teaching the class. Ever so often, though, he would look up, glancing at the phantom, and then quickly look away. Maybe he was going crazy.

Everyone had filtered out as soon as Kamijou had finished class. Well, all except for Misaki and his…guest.

"Professor Kamijou," Misaki called as he made his way down toward his substitute teacher.

"Oh, y-yes?" Hiroki said as he looked up at Misaki, a little alarmed.

"I just wanted to thank you for your encouragement the other day," Misaki stated as he looked at his teacher, though the man didn't seem to be looking at him. Following his gaze Misaki discovered that he was not really paying attention to himself but rather that phantom that stood next to him. "You see him to?" Misaki then asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"You mean," Hiroki said in alarm as he looked back at his student, "you can see him to!"

Before Misaki could reply Akihiko let out a light hearted laugh. This made the wide-eyed Hiroki jump, making Akihiko laugh even more. "Are you scared of me?" the writer asked, advancing of his friend.

"I uh," Hiroki muttered, trying to find a reason for why he was seeing his dead friend. "I uh," he muttered once more. "No," he finally stated.

"It doesn't look that way," Akihiko said sticking out a long, transparent finger, poking the man square in the chest.

"Well," Hiroki stammered "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not for sure," Akihiko said pondering on the question. "I just know I'm supposed to come here when I can to cheer up my Misaki. We're lovers," he then added as he looked back at the youth who had now turned bright red. Though, Akihiko couldn't tell if it was out of embarrassment, or anger.

The professor looked between the phantom, and then Misaki for a moment, and then it began to click. _That must be why Misaki_ _is so down,_ Hiroki thought. He could now understand why Misaki was so depressed. "I see," Kamijou said nervously as he eyed the phantom.

With laughter dancing in his eyes, Akihiko turned to look at Misaki and then back at Hiroki. "Please take good care of my Misaki when I'm gone. I don't want anything happening to him." He commented. "And please don't' be so hard on him he's m-" Akihiko continued but before he could say anymore, he vanished.

"Usagi!" Misaki called out, but it was too late. Akihiko was gone…again. Letting out a sigh Misaki looked down at the floor. He was all alone again, his happy demeanor was gone, and now he was left with Kamijou the devil.

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><p><strong>Oh ho ho! So I'm finally finished with this chapter. I hope you liked it. Just to let you know… most of this was written at like 1 in the morning so I'm fairly tired and I was just trying to finish this. <strong>

**If you have any comments or questions please let me know in the review! I always love getting some feedback. **

**As for responding to you with my tumblr…well, I don't think that is going to work out. I've tried but lately I've been WAY too busy to do anything. I'll do my best to respond though!**

**Just a little news for you who like this kind of stuff (me being included in this. :'D) But... the next chapter will be pretty much all lemon! WOOO HOO! xD - I'm not very good at writing them but I do believe that I am getting better! Wondering how this is going to work? We'll you'll just have to come back next time and see! **

**Again, thank you so much! I'll do my best to update as soon as possible. It might take a little bit more than a week or so, but hopefully it will be nothing like this last wait. Anyway, thank you so much!**

**See you soon and have a nice week!**


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING: Though this fanfic has been rated Teen, this chapter is not! This is a lemon (Mature Adult conduct) chapter so if this does not float your boat, don't read it! (Though I'm assuming if you read Junjou in general you would like a lemon :3)**

**OuO ~ HI! How are you all today? Good? I hope so.**

**Well, I am really, really, really excited to write this chapter for you! This will be my first actual Lemon! I've done other sex scenes in my previous fics.( Taken and What holds us together) But, they are not very good! Since this is my first time please forgive me, I'm terrible T.T**

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><p>Misaki sighed as he watched the world pass him by as he sat in the crowded subway car on his way home from work. It had been two months since Hiroki discovered the truth about Misaki and Akihiko's relationship, and it had been two months since Usagi had last appeared. This of course tore a hole into Misaki's chest, but with Kamijou knowing, things were a lot easier. He finally had someone to talk to. Misaki knew he would never be able to go this long, not seeing Usagi, and be able to pull though it. So, in a sense the youth was thankful to Usagi for telling Hiroki, even though it was very awkward between them now.<p>

"We have now arrived at XX station. Please, stand back as the doors open..."

As Misaki heard this he felt the subway slow down. Standing up the youth waited for the doors to open. Once they did so Misaki stepped out of the car and made his way outside.

It was fairly overcast and since it was late evening the sky began to darken even more. As the boy rounded the corner to his street, the lamps on the side of the road began to flicker on. Since Misaki was on the opposite side of the street from where the apartment was he had to cross.

Before the youth could check to see if any cars were coming by, his eyes drifted over to the windows of the tall building in which he lived. Moving over to the apartment window, Misaki suddenly sucked in a breath. There, in the window, was a faint shadow of a person. It had a rather large build and was fairly tall as well. Misaki could only guess who it was.

Dashing across the street, Misaki didn't bother to look for cars, and that was a mistake! A loud honk sounded as Misaki looked to his left about halfway in the street. Jumping backwards in a flash the youth narrowly missed a speeding car. If this was any other time Misaki would have been freaking out, but right now was different. Misaki quickly finished making his way across the street and then bursted into the building.

With shaking fingers Misaki pressed the elevator button. It opened automatically and Misaki stepped in, pressing his floor. The ride up, though, seemed like an eternity as Misaki rose to each floor. What was he going to say? What would they do this time? Misaki wasn't sure but he knew he needed to get there as quickly as possible.

With the doors opening the youth ran to the front door of the apartment. By now the boy was shaking so much he couldn't even punch in the password to get inside without messing up. Taking a couple deep breaths, trying to collect himself, the boy lifted a steady finger and unlocked the door. Grabbing the handle he tossed the door open and tried to run inside...tried. As he bolted inside he was stopped by a very solid mass. Falling backwards Misaki let out a scream, looking up at what he had just ran into.

"Misaki!" Akihiko said sternly as he looked down at his tiny, confused, lover who sat sprawled out on the hallway floor. "Look both ways before crossing the street! You almost got hit!" Usually Misaki would be sneering back at the writer, telling him that he was wrong. But this time, he couldn't even move, much less speak. Akihiko looked down at the youth with curiosity for a moment before letting out a light hearted chuckle.

"Y-You're solid!" Misaki suddenly blurted out. Standing up in a shaky manor Misaki reached out a trembling hand, touching the man's arm. His clothes were solid and the rest of the man underneath them was solid as well. "It's...it's like you're not even dead!"

"I know," Usagi responded. "I feel really strong this time. I feel like I could do anything!"

Before Akihiko would said anymore, though, he took hold of Misaki's arm with a grin grip, then began to tow him into the apartment, closing the door behind him and then embracing the youth with a solid hug in the dimly lit room.

They both stood like that for a long time, just holding each other. Misaki just stood there, eyes closed with his head against Usagi's chest, listening to the rhythm of his breathing and his heart beating. - His heart! - Every once in a while Misaki would take in a deep breath, inhaling the heavenly scent of Usagi's cigarettes and shampoo, the smell of Usagi. Lately Misaki had even been buying the writer's bran of cigarettes and he would light them anytime he felt hopeless or lonely, which was a lot these days. He had even tried to smoke one or two, but that didn't work out very well. Resting his chin on top of the youth's head, Akihiko smiled when he heard his lover let out a deep sigh.

After what seemed like only a second or two Akihiko loosened his grip and moved his large hands from Misaki's back to his face, cupping the sides of his cheeks with his large palms and stroking the cheek bone with his thumb. Tilting his lover's head upward, Akihiko looked dead into Misaki's eyes, and the youth did the same.

"I waited all day for you," Akihiko said softly as he held the boy's face. With the sound of the Misaki's lips turned downwards and he grimaced slightly, looking up at Akihiko with sad eyes.

"All day?" Misaki asked with a weak voice. "You waited all day, and you didn't let me know! Not even with a call!" the youth growled, the volume in his voice increasing with each word.

"I wanted to surprise you," the writer cooed as he continued to hold the boy's face.

"A call would have surprised me to!" Misaki almost yelled. Before he could get anything else out, though, Akihiko bend his head down, kissing Misaki passionately on the lips.

Misaki's bright green eyes widened in shock as he looked at Akihiko with a surprised expression. Their eyes locked together for a moment, and their gaze held for a split second. Quickly standing on his tippy toes Misaki pushed himself up into Akihiko, returning the kiss in a rather violent manor. It had been a little over four months since Misaki had kissed this man, he was a little out of practice.

Letting go of Misaki's face Akihiko took one hand and put it on the boy's back. Knocking him off balance Usagi sent him and his lover backing up until he had Misaki sandwiched between him and the wall. Once there Akihiko pressed his entire body (or what he could) up against Misaki, wrapping his arms around the boy and entangling his long, slender fingers into the boy's brown hair.

A soft moan escaped Misaki's mouth as he kissed Usagi back. This was fairly hard for Akihiko had almost his entire mouth around his lover's as he extended his tongue out, exploring the cavity of Misaki's mouth.

Misaki's breathing became slightly labored as he tried to catch his breath and battle with Akihiko's tongue at the same time. The youth's tongue was suddenly surrounded by the writers and then it was slowly taken away. As Akihiko departed his kiss he shifted his lips, Sucking on Misaki's bottom lip for a moment before departing, leaving a heavy trail of saliva to follow.

No words were spoken as the two looked at each other before going at it again. This time, though, in the middle of the kiss Usagi pulled away and began to lick from Misaki's lip down to his chin, and then made its way to the youth's exposed collar bone.

"Nuh," Misaki whimpered as he arched his neck backwards, shivers running up and down his spine as he exposed his neck even more. Unfortunate most of Misaki's neck (and the rest of his body) was covered by a thick coat.

"Misaki," Usagi whispered as he backed away from Misaki for a moment, allowing space for him to work his hands in between them to unzip the coat that separated the lover's bodys. In a split second the coat was on the ground And Misaki was being picked up from under the arms.

Letting out a yelp of shock Misaki found himself wrapping his legs around Usagi, along with his arms. After a moment of moving Misaki realized that they were heading to Akihiko's bedroom. This automatically sent even more chills up and down the youth's spine. He would finally get to hold Akihiko, the solid one.

"You're getting excited," Akihiko muttered as he came to the bedroom door, pausing for a moment as he tried to open it with one hand. The writer could feel Misaki's body up against him, and with that he could feel Misaki's growing member from within his pants, trying to escape with all of its might.

Misaki said nothing in response to Usagi's comment, he just smiled softly. There was no use in hiding it. Once inside the room Akihiko gently tossed Misaki onto the unmade bed before crawling on top of the youth and unbuttoning his shirt.

Seeing what Akihiko was doing, Misaki took a hint. He couldn't wait to get his clothes off! Moving his small hands down to the bottom of his shirt Misaki took the shirt off with ease. As soon as he did this He found himself being kissed. This time, though, Akihiko's cold hands were set right under Misaki's arm pits, directly in line with his nipples.

As the couple continued to kiss, Usagi would move his hands lower and lower down Misaki's hot torso. Usagi's large hands tickled as they did this and of course the youth hand to let out a small whimper in between kisses. After a while, though, the hands eventually found Misaki's pants. Moving his nimble fingers the writer unbuttoned them and began to pull them off.

In the middle of this Misaki pulled away from Akihiko before sitting up (or...as much as he could) and helping Usagi take off the trousers, and his shoes. Going back to kissing, Akihiko let out a heavy sigh as he stuck his tongue as far into Misaki as it would go. Misaki seemed to like this though, so they continued to do so.

The hands with a mind of their own had now seemed to discover that Misaki was still wearing his underwear. Usagi didn't like that at all! He wanted to see his small lover's body!

Moving his kisses to Misaki's chest, Akihiko continued to go lower and lower until he was only a half an inch away from the top of the underwear. There he stopped and began to suck for a moment before going all the way down to the opening.

Opening his mouth the writer bit onto the top of the garment and began to pull it off with his teeth, his face getting hit by Misaki's swollen member on the way down. As soon as the underwear was past Misaki's knees Akihiko gave up and returned back to a higher level. His original intention was to continue kissing Misaki but when he came face to face with the erect rod starring him down, he couldn't help it. It called out. Sticking out his tongue Akihiko pressed it up against he very tip of Misaki's head.

"NUHN!" Misaki moaned as Akihiko's warm tongue and saliva softly tickled Misaki, swirling around the head and the sucking every once in a while. When Misaki was just starting to get use to it though he felt Akihiko go in for the kill. Wrapping his entire mouth around Misaki's penis and man began to suck harder and harder. And he began to go deeper and deeper.

Misaki screamed out as he spread out his fingers, grasping the bed sheets underneath him. This feeling...it felt so good. The youth could also feel his face getting hotter and hotter along with the rest of his body. Tears suddenly began to form in the bottom of Misaki's eyes and he did everything in his power to keep them from falling. This, of course, didn't work.

"U-U-Usagi!" Misaki called out as he looked at the ceiling with glazed eyes. He could feel himself building up as Akihiko continued to suck. "I'm gonna' come!"

The writer said nothing in response to Misaki, he just continued moving his head and lips back and forth. Ever so often he would pull a little more farther back up, tickling the head with a scrape from his teeth. "Usagi!" Misaki squealed again, followed by a rather loud moan.

With eyes opening a little fraction wider, Akihiko stopped. It was a moment before Misaki heard, and saw the writer swallow what was ever in his moth. To do this though, he had to pull away from Misaki and in the process some fell from his mouth, hitting Misaki and dribbling down this lower chin.

"Heh," Akihiko chuckled softly as he used his thumb to collect the white substance on his face before sticking the thumb in in mouth. "You really had a big one!"

"I-I'm sorry," Misaki said feebly as he looked at Akihiko with a flushed face.

"It's not your fault," Usaig cooed as he continued to suck on his thumb and now index finger. After that was finished Akihiko took his dry hand and put it under Misaki's back, lifting him up off of the bed. "Your hips," Akihiko ordered as he tossed the boy on top of him in a sitting position. Now, with his lubricated fingers Usagi preceded to stick it inside of Misaki's entrance, moving in and out. All the while he began to suck on Misaki's nipples which were directly in front of his face. At times he would nibble at them, sending Misaki into a loud moan.

Sticking his arms directly out in front of him Misaki then pulled them around Akihiko, wrapping his fingers in his silver hair. "Neh!" Misaki whimpered. His entire body was on fire and now with Akihiko's cold hands inside of him and on him, he started to fell a little better. Misaki loved Usagi's cold hands.

"M-More!" Misaki squealed as he felt Akihiko stick another finger into him.

Chuckling, Usaig pulled away from Misaki's exposed body, looking at him with sad, but at the same time, happy eyes. "I think you're ready." the writer said as he laid the youth back onto the bed before pulling off his own pants and boxers. His member, as well, was very much enlarged and when Misaki saw this he began to get extremely excited.

"Suck," Akihiko ordered and Misaki did what he was told. Leaning down he slowly began to suck at Akihiko, trying to imitate Usagi's actions earlier. "Good enough," Usagi said with a shaky voice in the middle of Misaki's blow job. Pushing Misaki back down to the bed, Akihiko took up Misaki's legs and raised them so they were resting on his shoulders.

Taking hold of his member Akihiko stuck it into Misaki. After sitting in there for a moment, the writer began to move in and out rather quickly.

"Gah! OH! Awwwou," Misaki gasped as he clamped his eyes shut, the feeling of being penetrated covering over him like a nice blanket.

This action continued on and on until Misaki began to mutter something.

"What?" Akihiko asked with his bright eyes, but Misaki didn't say anything...well, anything useful. It was all gibberish to the writer. After pumping in and out for a another couple moments Misaki spoke again. "I-I-I." Misaki stammered, his breath hot as it his Akihiko's skin as he leaned over the boy. "Usagi, I love you!" the youth said as tears spilt over his eyes uncontrollably. "I-I love you so much Usagi! I love you I love you, I love you, I love you," Misaki gasped as Akihiko pushed in one more time, the deepest it had ever been that night, before the silver haired man filled the boy with his goodness. As he pulled away Misaki did the same, sending the white substance all of Akihiko, Misaki's stomach, and the bed on which they laid.

Pulling out Akihio leaned down until he was completely on top of Misaki. Holding his face one more time in his hands Akihiko leaned down and kissed the crying boy on the lips before pulling away once again. "Shhh," Usagi cooed. "It's ok,"

"NO!" Misaki whimpered as he looked away from Akihiko. The tears showed no sign of stopping. "I love you so much! And I'm so so so so so so so so so so so sorry that I didn't say it to you before. I didn't say it enough and I am so sorry Usagi!" Misaki cried, the sobs now uncontrollable.

This image broke Akihiko's heart and he tightened his grip on Misaki's head. "Shh," he whispered once again. "I know you love me," Akihiko said with a sad smile. "And I love you to! So don't cry."

"I can't help it," Misaki said as he closed his eyes, he didn't want to see them man. "I just miss you so much! I can't take being alone! I'm sorry Usagi. I justmissyou alot." Misaki whimpered, his words now running together.

"Misaki," Akihiko said in a gentle tone, but with force, causing the youth to look up at him. "I'm right here, Please don't cry!"

"But!"

"If you ever need me, and I'm not here...you can always find me here." With that the writer let go of Misaki's face and placed one of his cold hands over Misaki's heart. "I'm always with you here."

The youth just looked at his lover for a long moment with his wide green eyes. He seemed to be a little shocked. After a moment of silence, though, Misaki continued to cry. "Okay," he whispered at one point.

With that Akihiko put his arms around Misaki and drub him to the head of the bed where the pillows were before crawling under the covers with Misaki. Both of their body's where now molded into each other, both of them facing another as they held on to one another for dear life. "I'm so glad you're here," Misaki cried softly. "I miss you."

"I miss you to," Akihiko said as he looked down at Misaki who continued to cry until he fell asleep. Now Akihiko just had the privilege to enjoy holding his tiny lover as much as he wanted. This, of course, felt wonderful for Akihiko, and he knew that somewhere inside of Misaki, he was enjoying it to.

Akihiko felt absolutely terrible about not being there for Misaki, but there was nothing he could do about it...except to hold him all night long and not let him shed another tear.

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><p><strong>Well...this was an interesting chapter for me to write. ;u; I'm SO SORRY if this was a pile of shit. T.T Again this is my first lemon chapter ever so forgive me! Please, tell me what you think of this! I'll be waiting to hear back from you! <strong>

**Also...I know there are some incorrect words here. D= I used a spell check thingy and it made it the wrong word and It won't let me fix it! So, I am very sorry if something does not make sense.**

**~ OH ho ho! I graduate in less than a week! With that said I will probably not have anything up for about two to three weeks. I don't' know though. :T Whatever happens happens I guess.**

**R&R please!**

**Anyways, have an awesome week!**


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